Michael I rarely manage to sit through a soccer game on TV these days. While I can run around on the soccer field for hours, I just don't have the patience to watch the usual back-and-forth in the midfield during the usual soccer games on TV. I always think to myself: Oh my, the time, the time! I could have written three Perl programs by now!

Michael Recently, I thought to myself: It would be nice if we got a parking ticket as a memento of our time in San Francisco, with "PERL MAN" on it -- the personalized police license plate of our car ( Rundbrief 03/2000 ). On Sunday afternoon, it finally happened: I came home from the supermarket and boldly parked the trusty "PERL MAN" on the sidewalk to unload it. Upstairs in the apartment, Angelika signaled to me that she was on the phone with Oldenburg and that we could set off to an outing in two minutes. In high spirits, I turned on the TV. An hour later, it happened, and we had a parking ticket on the car, hooray! At $25, it wasn't exactly cheap, but it's a unique souvenir, as you can see in illustration 1!

Michael During the week of the American national holiday on July 4th, many companies in Silicon Valley were closed due to the ongoing economic crisis, and the streets were unusually empty. So, one morning, I drove quickly to the office, which is located 60 km south of San Francisco in Mountain View. On Highway 101, as usual in the leftmost of four lanes, just before the Mountain View exit, I suddenly saw a police car appear in the rearview mirror and routinely slowed down to the prescribed 65 miles per hour (about 100 km/h).

Michael Today: The Garbage Disposer E20 by Emerson. I have previously written that it is common in American kitchens to have a so-called garbage disposer installed under the sink. Between the drain and the drainpipe, there is a small grinding mechanism that starts at the push of a button and grinds waste that could clog the pipes into pieces small enough to pass through the drainpipe. Whatever you chop up in the kitchen, you simply dump into the sink, turn on the water and the grinding mechanism--and whoosh, it goes down the drain!

Michael Eagerly anticipated, but recently absent: There just haven't been any compelling new records. But today it happened: I bought the album "This Is It" by "The Strokes," which was released half a year ago! I already knew the song "Last Nite" from the radio, but I had no idea that "Hard to Explain" and "SOMA" were also on it -- for both songs, the best way to listen is on a hot day in San Francisco in an 11-year-old Acura Integra without air conditioning, with the windows rolled down, wearing shorts and barefoot, speeding up the hill trio on Church Street between 17th and 22nd Street. Then it sounds as if the music was invented in California, even though it comes from New York City. Buy it immediately and listen to it nonstop! Until we discuss the new one from the "Red Hot Chili Peppers," my favorite band, in the next newsletter.

Michael The most popular show on American television at the moment is called "The Osbournes." The TV channel MTV came up with the idea of placing a camera crew in the home of Ozzy Osbourne, the former singer of the band "Black Sabbath," to follow Ozzy, his wife Sharon, and their two rambunctious teenage children every step of the way and capture the everyday life in this unusual household.

Angelika Hooray! Hooray! The Green Card is here! Miracles still happen. We are now "Permanent Resident Aliens," as it's called in the finest bureaucratic American English. We still can't believe it. The word "Alien" always amuses us greatly because no one in everyday language refers to a foreigner as an "Alien." That would raise eyebrows and be politically incorrect. The term is "Foreigner." When people hear "Alien" here, they think of extraterrestrials and the movie "ET," but the "INS" (INS = Immigration and Naturalization Services = American immigration authority) doesn't care about that. Oops, I'm digressing.

Angelika Before we could even begin the third step, our so-called "Priority Date" had to be current. It's best to think of it like a place in the Green Card queue, similar to taking a number in some grocery store or government office. Since most Green Cards in the various categories are subject to an annual quota, bottlenecks occur when the quota for the respective year is reached - the queue keeps growing. The number of Green Cards issued by the immigration authorities each year is then evenly distributed among the individual countries. For example, people from India usually wait longer because the U.S. receives many applications from Indian citizens - the number of Green Cards available to them each year are logically gone more quickly. If you come from Germany, you are among the lucky ones who can essentially jump right to the counter without waiting, as there are not as many Germans applying for Green Cards.

Angelika I had already mentioned that the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service) does not like it when immigrants with contagious diseases like tuberculosis come to America. Therefore, for us, it meant going to the doctor as step number three to rule this out. You can imagine the whole process as being similar to a medical examination by a public health officer. We were not allowed to go to our family doctor; instead, we had to choose one from a list provided by the INS, who could conduct the examination according to INS regulations and also fill out the corresponding form correctly. These doctors do not work exclusively for the immigration authorities; they usually run a regular private practice. However, they don't earn much from these examinations, which is why the list mainly includes "doctors for the poor" from typical immigration countries.

Angelika No green card application goes without photographs. And the green card photos are subject to the strict regulations of the immigration authority. The lawyer gave us a typewritten DIN A4 information sheet with instructions, along with a list of photo studios that are familiar with the regulations and have experience in implementing them. Here are some excerpts from the information sheet, for your amusement: Glasses, earrings, and hair clips are not allowed. The photo should be 30 mm (1 3/16 inches) long--from the hair to below the chin--and 26 mm (1 inch) wide--from the right ear to the left cheek. The background must be white. The photo must not have shadows or be retouched. Polaroid film #5 is acceptable, but SX-70 film is not. The photo must show the entire face of the person (3/4 pose). The right ear and left eye must be visible.

Angelika And no immigrant should evolve into a burden on the American state: the "Affidavit of Support" (which can best be translated as "sworn declaration of financial support") is one of my favorite forms in our Green Card process. You may recall: I received the Green Card because I am married to Michael. Michael not only had to assure that he could support me so that I would not be a burden on the American social system, but also that he had sufficient financial means to support both of us: a highly official matter with a sworn notary.

Angelika Before one receives the Green Card, the American immigration authority wants to ensure that the applicant has not committed any crimes or is listed as a wanted terrorist. Just as one applies for a certificate of conduct in Germany, fingerprints are taken in America. For the Green Card, the FBI uses fingerprints to check whether one has been and is a law-abiding citizen. In practice, it works as follows: After our lawyer sent the required documents (and a few more) to the Immigration Office, we patiently waited for the confirmation of receipt. However, we had to bite the bullet again, as countless applications flooded the responsible immigration authority in California, causing week-long delays in opening the incoming mail and thus also adding delays to sending out the confirmation of receipt.

Angelika Anyone who thinks that the immigration office immediately sent us the actual Green Card is greatly mistaken. That would be far too easy. First, a letter arrived at our home, stating that the application had been approved. In April 2002, our mail carrier delighted us with the aforementioned notice. Along with the joyful news, the letter instructed us to appear at the immigration office in San Francisco with two brand-new passport photos, our current passports, etc. The intent was to receive a stamp into our passports, which served as a temporary Green Card, and entitled us to work and travel.

Angelika We tested our coveted stamp for the first time when we re-entered the USA coming from Japan. At the immigration checkpoint at the airport, there are usually two lines: one for American citizens and Green Card holders, and the other for visa holders and tourists, meaning one short and one very long line. This time, we lined up with the Americans and breezed through immigration. Michael initially doubted our "potato print stamp," but everything went smoothly. The immigration officer just grumbled about where we got the stamp. We dutifully replied, "From San Francisco!" And I held back my comment that it was obvious from the stamp itself, as Michael had strictly instructed me not to start arguing.

Angelika And, on July 8th, the moment had finally arrived: Lost in thought, I opened our mailbox and two letters from the immigration office greeted me. I already suspected it: The arduous journey of the Green Card process had finally come to an end. And indeed, I opened the envelope and found our brand-new Green Card plastic cards. Hooray! By the way, they are sent via regular mail and not by registered mail.